Just a heads up about this little milestone.
Here we have some stats for those cows that are now strewn dead about the street in front of the playhouse. I have omitted exactly ONE WORD from the block in order to avoid a spoiler. It doesn’t affect the stats in any way though.
I’ve done my best to produce these stats using the math, format, and terminology used in the official 4e D&D books, but it is entirely possible that I’ve made an error somewhere. If you’d like to laugh at me for it, feel free to do so on the forums rather than sending me a flood of emails (when one geek notices a mistake, chances are a hundred others will too). I’m only human, and anyone who’s had me as a GM knows I’m not afraid to admit that I make mistakes all the freaking time despite my being pretty much the most amazing GM ever. If you feel the monster is poorly balanced, too fucking bad. I made it for a comic, not a real game of D&D. There’s no need to play fair with these characters, as they are all mine to do with as I please.
Finally, the stat block will be a little more aesthetically pleasing when I compile them all into a pdf. But I’m not good with computer and don’t feel like relearning enough html to make it look pretty in this blog post. Without further ado, here is the cow:
Large natural animal
Level 3 Controller
|HP 48; Bloodied 24
AC 17, Fortitude 16, Reflex 15, Will 15
|(MB) Kick * At-Will
Attack: Melee 1 (1 creature); +8 vs. AC
Hit: 1d8+2 damage, and the target is dazed on its next turn.
Cowbell (thunder) * At-Will
Attack: Close burst 3 (enemies within burst); +6 vs. Fortitude
Hit: 1d6+3 thunder damage.
|Landmine (poison, zone) * Recharge when first bloodied
Effect: Close blast 1. The attack creates a zone that lasts until the end of the cow’s next turn. Any enemy that enters or starts their turn in the zone takes 5 poison damage and is slowed (save ends).
|More Cowbell (thunder) * Encounter
Trigger: The cow is within the range of another cow’s cowbell attack.
Attack: Close burst 1 (enemies within burst); +6 vs. Fortitude
Hit: 3 thunder damage.
|Str 17 (+4)
Con 16 (+4)
|Dex 13 (+2)
Int 3 (-3)
|Wis 14 (+3)
Cha 11 (+1)
|Alignment unaligned||Languages –|
I’ve got those two wallpapers I promised done (didn’t end up doing a third one). You can find them on the Extras page. Enjoy!
Also, you can expect to start seeing monster stats soon. I think what I’ll do is post individual stats here on the blog, then compile them all in a pdf on the Extras page later, once I’ve released them all.
WOW, you guys. That was freaking fast. Thank you very much to everyone who donated! As promised, I will now be providing an update every Saturday and Sunday for five weeks. And what about that “cool extra stuff” I promised? Well, to be honest, I thought I’d at LEAST have the weekend to get it ready, so I’m afraid you’ll have to wait a bit. But here’s a list of what you get:
A Peanut wallpaper to make you squee every time you open your laptop.
An Ardon wallpaper so your friends will know that you, too, are an asshole.
Possibly a third wallpaper? I wasn’t going to do a third one yet but I feel like I should do SOMETHING after getting all that money in two days…
*Monster stats for several custom creatures from the comic, ready to be used in your own game or just to satisfy your curiosity.
You will notice that the last item has been asterisked. Now, veterans of 4th edition D&D will probably be able to tell you that there haven’t BEEN any custom monsters in the comic yet. At most some of those goblins may have had their powers edited slightly. But there WILL be monsters appearing which cannot be found in any D&D book because I made them up. But I’ll be posting them on the site so you can pore over them and point out all my math errors just as though they were official D&D creatures! HOWEVER, since this constitutes a spoiler, I will be holding on to individual monsters until they have shown off their powers in the comic sufficiently that knowing their exact stats no longer matters. That means you’ll be getting the stats in a slow trickle throughout the course of Arc 2.
I hope my offerings please you, noble fanbase. Thanks again for reading and donating!
Oh, and in case anyone actually gets the joke, here’s an unobscured image of the poster on the front of the playhouse.
Thus begins the second story arc. What is going on and who are all these characters? You’ll find out shortly.
As you may have noticed, there is now a link to a donations page. For every $10 I get, I’ll post an extra update on a day when you normally get none! Additionally, if I get the $100 I’m hoping for, I’ll also post some extra stuff as a thank you. There are more details on the page itself, but it’s not much more complicated than that, really. If you have any questions before donating, or if ANYTHING about the donations page or process seems broken or suspicious to you, please send me an email.
And finally, remember that just reading the comic is a great way to support my work. So, thanks for doing that. And thanks to everyone/anyone who donates!